Pre-recorded voice: Thank you for calling Penrose Pension Consolidation. We can't wait to talk to you about your plans for the future, but unfortunately all our operators are busy right now. Please hold.
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You can always schedule a call with us via your online account. Just make sure you have your current 81-digit case-sensitive login reference ID to hand. We send a new login reference ID to your address every other Friday, so please ensure you have your most up-to-date letter.
If you are calling to request a new 81-digit case-sensitive login reference ID, or would still like to speak to an operator, please continue to hold.
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You are now number - 11 - in the queue.
We're sorry to keep you waiting. Your call is very important to us, and we will connect you with one of our advisors as soon as possible.
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Today's hold music DJ is Aled Jones, playing his collection of Debussy and Vaughan Williams' settings of Pre-Raphaelite verse. If you'd like to hear audio translations of the foreign language pieces, press 1.
If you'd like us to suggest a good wine to accompany the music, please dial the star key, followed by your Penrose Premium Experience code. You can subscribe to Penrose Premium Experience via your online account, with an introductory offer of only £19.50 per month. Terms and conditions apply.
If you'd like to make a request, or have a message read out between tracks, please hang up and call our fully automated customer experience line. Be sure to speak very clearly, or the system may not pick up your message correctly. We try to read out messages within one minute, so return promptly to this line if you wish to hear your submission.
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You are now number - 7 - in the queue.
If you're one of those customers who finds it annoying rather than reassuring to be told every twenty-five seconds that your call is important to us and that you will be speaking to one of our advisors very soon, press 2 to be transferred to our alternative hold queue.
Currently playing on that line is our interview hour. Kate Lawler talks to Barbie superfan Jennie about what her pension means to her, and why she thinks Vanessa Redgrave would have been a better choice for the role of Ken.
If you'd like to be featured on interview hour, please send an email to entertainment@penrosePC.co.uk with three hundred words on how your pension is helping you live life to the full. If you are chosen for an appearance, report to the address on our website at 9am on your allotted day for hair & make-up. Please also ensure you are available for two hours after your timeslot, to allow for production delays.
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New voice, Welsh accent: That was, of course, Love Lily by Edward Dannreuther, adapted from Dante Gabriel Rosetti's poem of the same name. And there's just time to tell you that Martin from Seahouses wants to wish his twin granddaughters a very happy 1st birthday. Ruby and Molly, you're the lights of his life, and he looks forward to spoiling you rotten using the money he's saved with Penrose.
Little bit of Wagner coming up, but first it's time to find out where you are in that queue!
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You are now number - 6 - in the queue.
We understand that being on hold can be a distressing and uncertain experience. If you'd like to help us trial our new 'constant reassurance' line, press 3 to be transferred there. We will ask you to complete a short que--
**Beep**
Your call is very important to us.
You will gain incredible peace of mind by knowing we've got your pension sorted.
You are loved and respected by those around you.
You are a valued customer, not only to us, but to any establishment you grace with your custom.
Your worth is not tied to a single aspect of your life. You contain multitudes.
You will be talking to one of our advisors very shortly.
You should buy yourself that little treat you've been telling yourself you don't deserve.
You are a wonderful person with unlimited potential.
You are number - 15 - in the queue.
